Harvest Moon High
by otakuandproud123
Summary: Old concept, new humor. What's not to like? *shrugs* Anyway, enjoy this one-shot!
1. Chapter 1

Admit it, you knew I was going to be sucked into this at one point or another. Anyway, I do not own Harvest Moon!

~~HMH~~

Chelsea looked around the hallway, then at the sheet telling her where the rooms were. She tapped on Mark's shoulder, and he looked back in annoyance.

"Big Brother, which room is CG6?" she asked, looking around. Mark pointed at a door.

"Perhaps it's the one with the six over it." he said, totally deadpan. Chelsea raised her eyebrows and walked into the room.

~~HMH~~

Julia, Lanna and Natalie were looking at microbes.

"Hey, why isn't cancer there?" Lanna asked.

After some silence, Natalie said "Probably because cancer is not a microbe."

"Right…" Lanna mumbled.

~~HMH~~

Denny looked at the schedule in his hands. He tried to say 'I've got Biology now', but instead he ended up saying "I've got Bitrology now." Kai walked over to him and put an arm over his shoulders.

"Cool, I've got Bitrology too." he said, grinning. "Now let us commence in the study of bisexual tripods." he continued as they walked to the Biology room.

~~HMH~~

"Alright class, get into a circle, because we're going to tell everyone one thing about yourselves." Felicia said, putting a hand on her cheek. The class shuffled into a circle.

"Gray, why don't you start off?" she asked. The blonde walked into the middle of the circle and took a deep breath.

"I forgot to wear my shoes today." he said, pointing at his feet. Everyone broke out in laughter.

~~HMH~~

Cliff walked into the room, twenty minutes late for class.

"Mr. Cliff, you are late." Taro said, furrowing his eyebrows. Cliff nodded.

"Nice to see you, Mr. Taro." he said, and he went to take a seat. Everyone stared at him as he did so.

"Seriously, that's all I've got. Nice to see you." he said, shrugging.

~~HMH~~

Antoinette raised her hand.

"Antoinette?" Ivan called.

"How do you spell 'illegitimate'?" she asked, tilting her head. Ivan turned to the board and wrote 'illegitimate'. Apparently, Ivan thought he spelled it wrong, so he crossed it out and wrote down the word again, but he spelled it wrong. After several more tries, he crossed out everything and wrote down 'bastard'. Much laughs were had.

~~HMH~~

Skye was hitting on Claire. The teacher turned to him.

"Skye, stop hitting on Claire and start working unless you want my foot up your rear." he said. Claire shuddered.

"Eww! He is not hitting on me. Besides, I already have a boyfriend." she said. The teacher shrugged.

"Alright. Skye, quit muzzling in on Claire's boyfriend and start working." he said.

~~HMH~~

Rick was paying absolutely no attention to what the teacher was saying.

"Rick, how do you find the square root of nine?" the teacher asked. Rick shrugged.

"Erm… you… divide by itself… and one?" he asked, hoping he got the right answer. Shaking his head, the teacher walked over, picked up Rick's textbook, and whacked him lightly over the head with it. A couple of minutes later, when everyone had calmed down, Rick had gotten in trouble again for not working and talking instead. Rick tried to argue with the teacher about this. Finally, the teacher sighed.

"Popuri, I don't want to walk over there again, so could you hit him for me?" he asked. Popuri picked up her textbook.

"Much obliged!" she said, hitting Rick.

~~HMH~~

It was history class, and six students were meant to put on a short skit outlining immigration protocols of the early 20th century in Australia. The first part of the demonstration went fine, when Angelo was allowed in with no hassle. However, the second and third bits, which Amir and Shea were acting out, were completely different.

"Hi, Amir!" Sherry chirped. Then she realized that she wasn't supposed to know his name yet.

"Er, I mean… who are you?" she asked, tilting her head to the right. Amir hit her over the head with the piece of paper he was holding. Sherry grabbed her head.

"That's actually a federal offence, but moving on…" she said, and Shea walked up. The introduction went fine, and then…

"Now, I'll let you in if you can write 50 words of English." Sherry said brightly, handing Shea a piece of paper. Shea wrote something and handed the paper back to Sherry. He had written 'I do not like this class anymore.'. Sherry sighed.

"Well, since you don't know your lines, I'm afraid I can't let you in. Then again, I don't know my lines either, so I'll just show myself out." she said. Then, she mimed jumping into the ocean and swimming away back to her desk. The fourth and fifth immigrants then, whilst humming the Mission Impossible theme music, leapt over the immigration desk and pretended to invade Australia.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so these were the gags that did not make it into the cut! Please tell me if they were good or not, because I couldn't decide if some were funny or just plain silly. Anyway, I still don't own Harvest Moon!

~~HMH~~

Your Head Asplode

It was Social Studies. The class was watching _Glory, _which, by the way, does not have a very funny opening scene. Especially the part when a soldier's head explodes due to being hit by a cannonball. Until some guy, probably Dirk, yelled out "BOOM! HEADSHOT!". The teacher, though trying to keep a serious face, cracked up.

~~HMH~~

Naptime For Jill

Jill was asleep in the middle of French. She was having an elaborate dream about Theatre, for some reason.

_The production of Romeo and Juliet had been interrupted by Jill. The producer had called her to the office. Remembering that she could control the dream, Jill decided to stand up to the lady. She slammed her hand on the desk._

"_Listen, lady, this is __**my **__dream! I could turn you into a muskrat if I wanted to!" she shouted. The producer raised her eyebrows._

"_Do you even remember what a muskrat looks like?" the producer asked. Jill pondered this for a moment._

"…_No." she sighed._

~~HMH~~

Invading Poland

Mirabelle was having trouble trying to keep down the chaos in her Spanish class. She had a very elaborate system of dealing with the kids; they always had points at the beginning of every class, and their grade for that particular class would depend on how much points they had at the end of the day.

"Everyone! BE QUIET!" she said, finally calming everyone down. She smoothed back her hair.

"Now, can anyone tell me how to say 'My friends told me to dye my hair'?" she asked. Luna shot up and raised her hand.

"Ooh! Me me me!" she shouted. "Mis amigos me dijeron para invadir Polonia!" Mirabelle smacked her forehead and shook her head as everyone laughed. Luna looked confused.

"What? What did I say?" she asked. Gill spoke up.

"You just said 'My friends told me to invade Poland.'." he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Lloyd shouted.

At the end of class, Luna was horsing around again. Mirabelle calmed her down by shouting "Luna, you've already gotten all your points taken away! Calm down this instant!". Luna stopped abruptly.

"When did I get my points taken?" she argued. Candace raised her hand.

"Senora, aren't you from Poland?" she asked.

~~HMH~~

Gorilla Safety

It was in the middle of German, and the students were supposed to read some German fairy tales they had made. Vaughn was close to falling asleep.

_Goddess, these guys are dull…_ Vaughn said as Freya read out her story in a monotone voice. All of a sudden, a guy a gorilla suit ran in and started screaming and making mayhem. Halfway through, he lifted his mask, and Vaughn recognized him as Luke, who had graduated last year. At the end, he took off his mask.

"Wow. Your gorilla safety rating is negative three. Only 1.256 percent of you would have lived. The rest are screwed." he said, rolling his eyes. He kept lecturing them about gorilla safety, and basically ended any chances of class continuing.


	3. Chapter 3

Due to my sick mind having more ideas for a high school AU, I'll be adding one more chapter to this!

~~HMH~~

It was the middle of Math class, and Gustafa was bored out of his mind. He was finished with his test, and so was his friend Marlin. They had handed up their tests already, and they didn't have anything to do. Suddenly, Gustafa got an idea. He reached over the aisle and tapped Marlin on the shoulder. Irritated, the Elvis-lookalike snapped his head towards the peaceful man.

"What?" he mouthed. Gustafa grinned.

"I'm tired," he mouthed back. He then proceeded to step out of his chair and lie down on the floor, wriggling a little as he did so. Everyone else was leaning over their own desk, since they weren't finished with _their _tests yet. The teacher wasn't there; he had been called to the principal's office. Gustafa began flopping back and forth as Marlin smirked and tapped Elliot's shoulder. The pink-haired teen raised his head a little in acknowledgement.

"There's a dead-fish on the floor," Marlin whispered, pointing at Gustafa. Elliot looked down and slapped a hand over his mouth.

~~HMH~~

"Alright everyone, pull out your copies of _The Things They Carried_," Carter said, adjusting his glasses. Claire nodded and began rooting through her bag, muttering the items that she found before reaching the book.

"Let's see, calculator, two Gameboys..." she said. Heads were beginning to turn, and several pairs of eyes widened as the young blonde pulled out a case for _Skies of Arcadia_, two iPods, three pairs of headphones (only one of which actually worked), twenty pencils, four notebooks for writing stories, five books by Dave Barry, three decks of cards, a cellphone charger cable...

"How much can that girl fit in that bag?" Jack whispered loudly when Claire pulled out a chocolate bar that had somehow been sticky-taped to a house key she had been looking for during the past month.


End file.
